Silent Transition

This silence everywhere, it surrounds
me even when we try to talk
This mad pretense; it still astounds
and the effort of it all begins to drown me
I don’t even recognize your face,
mask-like, as you move irascibly
to turn up the volume on TV

This silence; you could cut it with a knife;
slice off a chunk of it, it’s so real
Do you even know I am your wife?
As I handed you your meal last tonight
you coldly stared at me to say
What’s the big deal?
in a most demeaning and sarcastic way

I guess I shocked the silence out of you today
though you had no real reaction when I said
that I am leaving, except to glare at me and say
Is there a lover that you’ve taken to your bed?
Though your face it damned near hit the floor
when I answered you No damn you. No,
I just don’t want to live alone here anymore

As I walked out slowly through the kitchen door
I grabbed my coat from where it hung upon the nail
feeling sorrow, pain and longing, yet something more
In that moment it was clear I would not fail
I knew that if I went on out and up I would not fall
Tentatively I turned the thought in to a question
Coat, don’t you think it’s time to find another wall?

Zannie 2002